Episode 10: Reframing Childhood Trauma - Part I
How a woman’s loss of innocence as a child became the prelude to a heroic story of strength, survival and reclamation of self.
In Episode 10, Natalie and Chelsea sit down with Ali Marcus, a survivor of child sexual abuse, to discuss the impact years of childhood sexual abuse had on her development and perception of self-worth and the start of her healing journey.
If Part I is about the loss of a woman’s innocence as a child and related consequences, Part II is an anthem of strength, self-love and resiliency.
Show Notes:
Hosts:
Natalie M.
Chelsea M.
Timestamps:
**00:00** - Introduction
**00:22** - Trigger warning/resources.
**1:28** - Chelsea introduces this episode's guest.
**4:52** - Ali begins to tell us about her early years and discusses the abuse she endured.
**6:18** - Chelsea asks Ali if she remembers how she began to change during the time that she was experiencing the abuse.
**10:14** - Chelsea asks Ali to tell us how she was being silenced by her abuser.
**12:27** - Natalie asks Ali why the threat of, “being disowned” worked so well to silence her.
**13:56** - Chelsea asks Ali how to tell us how the abuse stopped at age 10.
**16:02** Natalie asks Ali what it was like being able to finally assert herself after so many years of abuse.
**17:42** Chelsea asks Ali if she ever tried to tell someone about the abuse.
**20:55** - Ali discusses how all of this trauma manifests into her relationship with food and her body.
**23:10** - Chelsea asks Ali if she feels like people treated her differently because of her weight when she was still just a child/young adult (Elementary/Middle School).
**25:06** - Natalie asks Ali how her development into a “woman” was different (if at all) because of the abuse/trauma she endured earlier in life.
**29:06** - Natalie asks Ali more about her relationship with food at this time and if she would hide what she was eating from others, binging, etc.
**31:53** - Natalie asks Ali if she ever dealt with feelings of hate/resentiment/rejection of herself.
**38:13** - Ali discusses how she feels now about what happened to her as a child.
**40:22** - Break
**42:13** - Ali, Chelsea, and Natalie all discuss what it was like being an adolescent in the early 200’s and how that shaped our body images in general.
**51:34** - Natalie asks Ali about her thoughts on what the impact of images of “perfect bodies” does to sexual abuse victims.
**53:11** - Ali discusses how college was her first “awakening”, re-remembering her childhood abuse, telling her father about the abuse.
**1:02:02** - Chelsea asks Ali if she was relieved or angry/frustrated after telling her Father about the abuse and his reaction to it.
**1:05:15** - Ali tells us about how she needed to become a caretaker to both of her parents shortly after returning home and that she was finally able to tell her Mother about the childhood abuse.
**1:10:51** - Ali discusses her experience with therapy.
**1:16:17** - Ali discusses what she was ultimately able to come to regarding her feelings around her abuser and the burden that she had been carrying for almost two decades.
**1:22:51** - End of Episode
**1:23:15** - Stay tuned for next week
**1:23:52** - Outro
Key Takeaways:
1. “Fixed Mindset”: Belief that abilities, talents, and traits are fixed or inherent and cannot be significantly changed.
Example: Avoiding challenges for fear of failure.
2. “Growth Mindset”: Belief that abilities, talents, and traits can be developed and improved through effort and learning.
Example: Embracing challenges as opportunities to grow.
3. **Tips for Cultivating a Growth Mindset**
Self-Awareness
Identify Your Fixed Mindset Triggers: Recognize the situations that trigger a fixed mindset (e.g., challenges, setbacks, or criticism).
Reflect: Make it a habit to reflect on your thoughts and feelings regularly, identifying instances where a fixed mindset held you back.
Change Your Language
Switch Your Language: Instead of saying “I can’t do this” or “I’ll never . . .,” say “I can’t do this yet,” or “I am moving towards . . . .”
Embrace Constructive Feedback: When you or others fail, #fail forward by focusing on what can be learned from the experience.
Reframe Challenges and Setbacks
Stretch Goals: Set an objective that pushes you out of your comfort zone.
Reframe Failures: View setbacks as opportunities for growth, not as a validation of an inability or shortcoming.
Embrace Feedback and Prioritize Learning Over Validation
Constructive Criticism: Actively seek out feedback that helps you improve or refine your skills.
Encourage Open Dialogue: Create an environment or cultivate relationships where open and constructive feedback is welcomed and regular.
Value the Process: Prioritize learning and improving over success or perfection.
Focus on Yourself: Prioritize yourself, focus on your personal development, and celebrate your achievements. Avoid seeking approval or validation from others.
Additional Resources:
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