Episode 11: Reframing Childhood Trauma - Part 2

 

How a woman’s loss of innocence as a child became the prelude to a heroic story of strength, survival and reclamation of self. 

In Episode 11,  Natalie and Chelsea sit down with Ali Marcus, a survivor of child sexual abuse, to discuss the inspiring conclusion to her story.

If Part I is about the loss of a woman’s innocence as a child and related consequences, Part II is an anthem of strength, self-love and resiliency. 

Show Notes:

Hosts:  

  • Natalie M.

  • Chelsea M.

Timestamps:

**00:00** - Introduction

**00:22** - Trigger warning/resources.

**1:28** - Chelsea introduces this episode's guest.

**2:16** - Ali tells us about how she began to free herself from her previous trauma, starting with her relationship with her now ex-husband.

**14:24** - Ali details what the final straw was in her first marriage.

**18:32** - Natalie asks Ali to tell us more about her weight loss surgery.

**28:14** - Ali tells us exactly what type of surgery she had.

**35:10** - Break

**38:20** - Ali discusses meeting her Husband Patrick, going back to school, and that there are other goals in her life that she’s excited to go after now.

**41:29** - Ali discusses how differently the world reacted to her post weight loss. 

**45:37** - Chelsea asks Ali how her relationship with Patrick is different than her relationship with her first Husband, Alex. 

**51:31** - Chelsea asks Ali if she has any specific plans to further her personal development.

**56:47** - Natalie asks Ali how she’s been able to maintain intimacy and personal boundaries after the trauma she experienced. 

**1:02:01** - Chelse asks Ali what the most important skill, thing, characteristic, or strategy was that she used to overcome the challenges she encountered along her journey.

**1:06:42** - Ali tells us what her “word” is.

**1:09:38** - Ali tells us what the theme of her life is right now.

**1:12:59** - End of Episode

**1:13:23** - Stay tuned for next week

**1:14:49** - Outro

Key Takeaways:

1. “Fixed Mindset”: Belief that abilities, talents, and traits are fixed or inherent and cannot be significantly changed.

Example: Avoiding challenges for fear of failure.

2. “Growth Mindset”: Belief that abilities, talents, and traits can be developed and improved through effort and learning.

 Example: Embracing challenges as opportunities to grow.

3. **Tips for Cultivating a Growth Mindset**

Self-Awareness

  • Identify Your Fixed Mindset Triggers: Recognize the situations that trigger a fixed mindset (e.g., challenges, setbacks, or criticism).

  • Reflect: Make it a habit to reflect on your thoughts and feelings regularly, identifying instances where a fixed mindset held you back.

Change Your Language

  • Switch Your Language: Instead of saying “I can’t do this” or “I’ll never . . .,” say “I can’t do this yet,” or “I am moving towards . . . .”

  • Embrace Constructive Feedback:  When you or others fail, #fail forward by focusing on what can be learned from the experience.

Reframe Challenges and Setbacks

  • Stretch Goals:  Set an objective that pushes you out of your comfort zone.

  • Reframe Failures: View setbacks as opportunities for growth, not as a validation of an inability or shortcoming.

Embrace Feedback and Prioritize Learning Over Validation

  • Constructive Criticism:  Actively seek out feedback that helps you improve or refine your skills.

  • Encourage Open Dialogue: Create an environment or cultivate relationships where open and constructive feedback is welcomed and regular.

  • Value the Process: Prioritize learning and improving over success or perfection.

  • Focus on Yourself: Prioritize yourself, focus on your personal development, and celebrate your achievements.  Avoid seeking approval or validation from others.

Additional Resources:

Connect with Us:

- The Daily Reframe Website

- Instagram

- TikTok

- Threads

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Thank you for tuning in!

 
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Episode 12: Reframing, Reflecting, & Expressing Gratitude

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Episode 10: Reframing Childhood Trauma - Part I